They'll learn soon enough that selling to developers necessitates speaking clearly.

The problem is that when it comes to (commercial) developer tools and services, everyone can/wants to be everything, so why let a simple statement or a showcase limit you? "Hey, we are a container scanning service... But we can also be a container registry too, a CI, a KeyValue store, an agent sandbox provider, git hosting? We can do quick dev deployments/preview too. Want a private npm registry? Automated pull request reviews? Code Signing service? We are working on a new text editor btw"

But what if my product is just an attempt to make a cushy exit during the AI bubble?

I feel like these types of pages are less geared towards actual users of the product and more towards the investors who love the vague and flowery language. We're no longer in a world where the path to profitability was the objective goal anyway, it makes sense to me that the marketing of software is becoming decreasingly detached from reality..

It's almost like an extension of the "if you're not paying for the product, you are the product" idea. If you're assessing a tool like this and the marketing isn't even trying to communicate to you, the user, what the product does, aren't you also kind of "the product" in this case too?