Your theories on Muppet physiology are childish and naïve, and I viciously refute them in my upcoming article “Parasitic Infections of Muppet Gastrointestinal Hand Holes.”

[0] https://mickens.seas.harvard.edu/tenure-announcement-april-2...

Oh thank you very much for that link! I have now bookmarked https://mickens.seas.harvard.edu/wisdom/ to binge read.