If I'm patreon, here's what I'm doing:

Jack up every Apple user's monthly payment by 30%.

When they go into the app to figure out what the hell happened, they will find big red text saying "want to avoid the Apple tax? re-subscribe through our website! (Link)"

They click the link, it opens a webpage where all the payment info has been auto-filled. They click "ok." Bam, fee gone.

Much of what you suggested would not pass apple review, and would get your app removed from the app store if you tried to hide it during review.