Regarding schema changes and timeouts - while having timeouts in place is good advice, you can go further. While running the schema rollout, run a script alongside it that kills any workload conflicting with the aggressive locks the schema change is trying to take. This will greatly reduce the pain caused by lock contention, and prevent you from needing to repeatedly rerun statements on high-throughput tables.

This would be a particularly nice-to-have feature for Postgres - the option to have heavyweight locks just proactively cancel any conflicting workload. For any case where you have a high-throughput table, the damage of the heavyweight lock sitting there waiting (and blocking all new traffic) is generally much larger than just cancelling some running transactions.

Doesn't Postgres support transactional schema changes already? Why would you want to proactively kill work that's just going to complete after the schema change is done? Load balancing, throttling etc. is a different matter that has little to do with what you're proposing.