Except a lot af askers will put you in an uncomfortable spot. No I don't want you and your family staying at my house while you are in town.

elgenie 8 hours ago | parent | next [-]

Discomfort is present only if you suspect they're a Guesser and thus one of you has greatly misjudged the relationship and social context.

If you know or suspect they're an Asker the discomfort disappears because you say "No" and they say "OK, cool".

I think guessers agonise over HOW to say "No" in contexts like this, and what it says about them as people.

"Can my family and I stay for two weeks?".

Then:

"No." (looks cold and heartless; do I want to project cold and heartless? Will they hate me?).

"I'm so sorry but I'm not able to. The house is a mess and it's really small" (performative, hand-wringing reluctance; we both know I'm lying).

"I just don't like to share my environment" (most truthful; might look petty to those who don't understand the need for privacy to that degree).

	▲	lloydjones 5 hours ago \| parent \| next [-]
		Having said that, I have become a lot better at being direct these past few years, so I'd likely just say "I'm not able to, sorry. I can recommend some good hotels though".
	▲	j1elo 3 hours ago \| parent \| prev [-]
		All this rings true, which brings me to this question: are Guessers just a bunch of Overthinkers?

nkrisc 3 hours ago | parent | prev [-]

Then just say, “No, that won’t work out for us.” Done.