There's nothing wrong with iOS and iPhones. If that's what works best for you, then that's what you should use. With this said...

Most people use their Android phone like iPhone owners do. They use the default launcher, default settings, and things work. Like you, they turn it on and it does things. They'll install their apps for work, social media, etc, just like iOS users. Maybe they'll install a different browser so sync works or have adblocking, but that's it.

Unlocking bootloaders, custom ROMs, perhaps rooting, getting to the point where apps are hijacking your phone (wth?)... I'm not sure if you understand this, but that's very extreme. If you get blasted, it's because that's the equivalent to jailbreaking an iPhone, replacing the OS, and so on. Of course things are going to break.

iOS lets you do a lot of UI customization these days. Home screen(s), widgets, icons, lock screen, etc, some of which I can't do on my Android phone and may have to use a 3rd party launcher! Why don't you spend hours tweaking that stuff, like many do? Why doesn't it bother you that you can do it? Just a guess, but I think you've changed. You no longer care about this stuff and maybe you also don't have the same free time? That's fine, but also shows that the problem wasn't Android or iOS, but the old you that didn't always know when to stop.

On a side note, things have changed a lot in the past few years. These days you don't install a custom ROM if you want features... you get a phone from a brand like Samsung because their UI is packed with features that custom ROMs don't have. You also don't need them for updates when a new phone gives you 5-7 years of support. Most posts I see here about custom ROMs are about privacy and security, removing Google from their phones, stepping away from the cloud and subscriptions, etc. Don't assume that that the wild side of Android is still the same because it isn't, at least not to the extent. You may also want to drop the idea that using Android requires doing all you've mentioned, because almost no one does that. You were the 1% of the 1%.