Not for everyone but if you can, get a dog. Dogs are icebreakers. People like to meet a cute dog. They won't know your name at first but you will be "Fido's Dad" or "Dave's Mom". Other dog owners will greet you and so long as your dogs don't hate each other you already have something in common.

A dog gives you a reason to be wherever you want to be - take a walk around the neighborhood or to the park. You're not a rando taking a walk for mysterious and possible nefarious purposes, you're walking the dog.

But for for goodness sake, pick up after the pooch. If you can wipe your own arse you can pick up a dog turd with a plastic bag.

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wbobeirne 3 hours ago | parent | next [-]

Anecdotally, I've had a lot of people in my life recede after getting pets. They're an excellent excuse to say no to things that you might otherwise do, because you need to get home and take care of the pet or you can't find a sitter to go on a trip etc.

Not generalizing to all people, but I think for some a pet can reinforce anti-social tendencies.

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alecco 2 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-]

But that's like befriending others through the kids. Those usually are very shallow relationships. If they suddenly stop seeing you they wouldn't even check if you are OK or what happened. I guess it's better than nothing but that's not for me.

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OkayPhysicist an hour ago | parent [-]

Having many shallow relationships is the first (well, second) step towards having a few deeper ones. You can't befriend people you never meet, and people find it extremely offputting for someone they don't know to immediately try to be their best friend.

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alecco an hour ago | parent [-]

I've never, ever seen a shallow friendship turn into a deep friendship. OTOH you might meet someone to date.

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jungturk 18 minutes ago | parent | next [-]

Plenty of my former coworkers have evolved into lifelong substantial friendships.

What started with smalltalk evolved into conversations over lunch which then afforded after work socializing which then led to actively scheduling time for shared interests. All of those provided ample opportunity to learn almost everything about that person and open the door to a deep friendship when mutually desired.

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OkayPhysicist an hour ago | parent | prev [-]

Have you never made a deep friendship? How else would anybody make deep friendships? First you do things that let you meet people, then you make acquaintances, then you make setting-specific friends (work friends, gym buddies, etc), then you start inviting/being invited to do things that aren't based around that shared setting, and then you have friendships.

Either that or your definition of deep friendship is substantially off.

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alecco 31 minutes ago | parent [-]

Most of my deep friendships were through friends and family. A handful at work/school. And it is the same way for most people I know. But I'm not American, so that's that.

	▲	OkayPhysicist 28 minutes ago \| parent [-]
		Making friends through work and school are pretty much exactly what I described. You go to a place with people, you meet a lot of people, and some of the shallow acquaintances end up becoming long term friends.

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hexbin010 an hour ago | parent | prev [-]

> You're not a rando taking a walk for mysterious and possible nefarious purposes

Good god, where do you live where people think like that?