For what it's worth, I tried that a few years ago. It worked for a while. Then I realized that my church relationships were paper thin and that I'd be forgotten the day I stopped coming and/or I started showing that I didn't really believe in what was preached.

Got better connections through improv acting and role-playing game.

YMMV

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OkayPhysicist 4 hours ago | parent | next [-]

I'm no fan of religion, but the situation you described is true for pretty much all social hobbies. It's just one of the early steps in making friends. First you do stuff, then you meet people through that stuff forming acquaintances. Then you spend some time forming setting-specific friendships. It's fine to have lots of these, but the next step is to break out of that specific setting. Starting with immediate invitations to adjacent events ("Hey, want to grab dinner after our workout?", "Want to grab lunch after church?", "Hey, want to hit the bar after work?"). Once you have a habit of doing that, you can escalate to invitations to non-adjacent events. ("Want to go to a concert this weekend?"). Do that ever 1-2 months, and you've got a general friend.

	▲	SchemaLoad 35 minutes ago \| parent [-]
		The problem is you can't really just go to church to make friends without at all believing or supporting the rest of it. Similarly you couldn't go to a hobby group while entirely disliking the hobby, hoping to just get friends out of it and leave.

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publicdebates 4 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-]

This has been my experience with meeting people at churches, too.

They always seem like they're only talking to you either to get you to become a member or to satisfy their own conscience, but never because of you.

And it's been proven to me too many times. No thanks, not trying that again.

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cosmic_cheese 3 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-]

As someone whose childhood included attendance to various churches, this mostly reflects my experience. That's not to say that it can't or won't produce deep connections, but it is in my estimation more unlikely than not, particularly if there's anything about oneself that the church doesn't agree with or if commitment to that particular denomination hasn't been established.

Personally speaking I find the need to conform to the church's norms/expectations to not be ostracized at minimum chafing and in the worst case stifling. The third place and social aspects can be nice but being told how to live and exist isn't.

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rootusrootus 5 hours ago | parent | prev [-]

I've entertained the idea of going to church. My understanding is that a non-trivial number of people going to Unitarian Universalist churches are openly atheist and completely comfortable with that. So the preaching ends up being more about general good community ideas and less about dogma.

I have not decided yet that it is a good fit, but I am definitely thinking that I should foster some community connections outside of my own family.

	▲	StevePerkins 3 hours ago \| parent \| next [-]
		I was involved in a UU church for a few years. It's a weird organization, and very unstable, with another revolution sweeping in new leadership (and completely new culture) every 5 to 10 years. When I first started going, it was VERY open to atheists and secular humanists. New leadership sweeps in, and there's a mandate to focus more on "worship" and other religious jargon... and let the atheists know that while they can be fellow travelers on some of the social justice stuff, they're not really in the fold. Last I heard, that leadership wave had themselves been swept out under controversial circumstances. But by then I was long gone. I could never really get a straight answer on WHAT we were supposed to be "worshipping", given that UU's don't profess faith in any any particular deity or pantheistic concept, etc. I finally reached the conclusion that we were supposed to just worship the leadership's political beliefs, and not think too much or ask questions. In fairness, maybe that DOES make it a real church?
	▲	publicdebates 4 hours ago \| parent \| prev [-]
		Reminds me of a non-alcoholic beer.