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nineteen999 a day ago

It may be worth looking into childhood trauma if that's something that may be applicable. I had a similar experience, after losing 35kg over 3 years I felt and looked great on the onsite, even having to overcome back surgery during that period as well, felt like I'd conquerered the world. I thought I'd "done enough work", but as I found out, sometimes there is work to be done on the inside as well.