There is no way to win with kids, its just part of being a parent. Had you helped, you would have been acused of not giving them space to explore.

Turns out the “correct” answer was to be there to help them cognitively figure it out by helping them ask the right questions. At least that’s what the therapist said. I guess I don’t mind as they both turned out fine. Way better than the trauma I had so I would say it’s a win.