Yeah but what do you want to do about it? The engineers I see making these mistakes day-to-day are not going to connect the dots if I just point them to the seminal writings. Heck, half of their complaints are of the same form as yours: if only the majority of [engineers, colleagues, stakeholders] were aware of [A, B, C principles] then we could avoid repeating [X, Y, Z failures]. Yeah it's exhausting, life is exhausting, and it doesn't inherently get better with knowledge and experience as the gap to the lowest common denominator only increases; the only balm I've found is focusing on what I can control.

Well for starters I literally organized our company and all engineering around Conway‘s law and it’s working great

That’s like the absolute bare minimum you can do, it’s trivially easy and solves a good half of these “problems.”