Why can't you have an online community?

littlecranky, put your reply back please; it was a good one.

cycomanic 34 minutes ago | parent | next [-]

I can only speak to my own experience, but for the last 1 year I have been by myself and my 2 younger daughters in a new town. I work remotely, but also have some very good friends that I can rely on when I need. Those friends are distributed all over the world and while I can call them any time off the day or night, there is a fundamental difference how I feel after a phone/video call to after a conversation over e.g. drinks/dinner. In fact I found that I sometimes avoid calling my friends because the phone call makes me feel lonelier.

So for me online communities can be a great thing, but they can't replace IRL communities, because the interactions make you feel different. I suspect that the social needs that evolution has imprinted on us can't just be fulfilled by online interactions, they require more senses than just hearing and seeing.

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gilrain 3 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-]

Because they can’t reach you when there’s a power outage to check that you’re warm. They can’t share boiled water with you when the mains break. They can’t invite you to a meal when you’re lonely.

They can mostly only ever wish you well.

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mikepurvis 3 hours ago | parent | next [-]

This stuff is valid, but a lot of it is more "be there in a crisis", which is not the day to day.

For me, the significant thing about having local community is the ability to throw stuff together last minute. Not every gathering has to have a spreadsheet of guests and canva invites and endless emails booking a band, a keg, whatever else.

A lot can and should just be "hey dudes, anything doing anything? Want to come over for a game/movie/whatever?" Those kinds of low-stakes hangouts are the real backbone of community, and they're hard to do if you don't have a friend group that's physically close by.

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filoleg 2 hours ago | parent [-]

There was a period of time in my mid 20s when me and a close friend ot mine lived across the street from each other, and what you said here resonates with me strongly.

It is such a massive boost to quality of life to just be able on a whim to send a text like “i am tryna grab some food+drink in 15min, you down?” and actually make it happen more than half the time (and being able to receive similar texts from the friend too). Lots of spontaneous interactions and (barely-any-)planning for just normal low-pressure outings was absolutely my favorite part of that time period.

On a sidenote, I absolutely despise the “guest spreadsheet canva invites for an event scheduled a month in advance and endless emails booking a band” way of regularly doing social stuff. It is totally chill and reasonable to do so for special occasions and bigger events, but having it as the primary way of socializing makes me want to drill a hole in my skull.

	▲	01HNNWZ0MV43FF an hour ago \| parent [-]
		I miss that about dorm life in college. For 4 years I lived in an arcology with people who were the same age and economic class as me. Since the commute to anyone's place was 1-5 minutes on foot, you could get food, watch a movie, and drop out whenever without worrying about the sunk cost of fucking driving 15 minutes in a car-centric city from one detached SFH to another detached SFH. I miss the arco. I miss the arco a lot.

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iamnothere an hour ago | parent | prev [-]

Neighbors can provide these things if you’re willing to reciprocate. And you don’t have to be close with them, just friendly.

	▲	squigz an hour ago \| parent [-]
		I think the nuance of the different types of community is often lost in these discussions, and that they're not mutually exclusive.

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3 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-]

[deleted]

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hxugufjfjf 3 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-]

You can, but it does replace meaningful irl connection with other humans.

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burner420042 3 hours ago | parent | prev [-]

Squigz my guy, you're missing out.