Back in 2019, got to go to Hong Kong for a couple months for work and got to bring my family.

I was about to turn 40 and realized that the place we were staying had a rock wall. In a somewhat "mid life crisis" spur of the moment decision, I decided to go buy shoes, a belt and a chalk bag (I did a lot of indoor rock climbing in college).

We get there and the rock wall is a. closed and b. only for kids.

Get back to the US and COVID lockdown starts. As things open up, I go on the town dad's Facebook group and ask if anyone wants to go rock climbing with me. Multiple dads say "hell, yes!" so I start a rock climbing club.

One of the dads that joins the climbing club loves board games, is inspired by my starting the rock climbing club so he starts the town board game club.

I tell people this story to illustrate that:

- if you don't have a club or org for something that you're into, go start one

- you doing the above can trigger other people to start clubs too

I have had this discussion with my wife, men need activities more than women to bond. My wife can make friends just by randomly running into other women at events or my daughter's activities.

Rock climbing (in the US gyms, anyway) is such an easy way to meet new people.

You don’t even to find a group or friends before you go. Just go to the bouldering area and hang out during a popular time.

Most gyms have partner finder programs and designated social nights.

Every gym I’ve been a member of has also had a bring a friend program where you get to bring one new person for free periodically.

Online groups are also a good way to meet new friends. This is HN so a lot of people will turn their nose up at Facebook but it’s full of groups of people who go out and do things.

Volunteering in smaller orgs is also a great option because it naturally filters for people who actually want to do something good around them, and the way you work together leaves more space for communication than a lot of group-but-actually-solitary hobbies out there.

A few years ago I joined my rural neighborhood council, and I’d never been around so many people consistently being generous with their time and energy. It’s really uplifting, and you end up learning a lot from each other in the process too.

> - if you don't have a club or org for something that you're into, go start one

This is how I met most of my local friends; I went out and started a D&D game.

D&D is slightly tricky, because most people want to play a character, instead of be the DM - so, you either need to find a DM, or be the DM. I'm lucky - I love DMing.

Another problem is maybe similar to what OP was facing; I see many people joining our local Discord, looking for a game, but none of them or the people welcoming them seem to take the actual next step of picking a time and a place to meet and start discussing where and when to actually play.

I needed to read this perspective, thanks.

One of the things becoming an adult that people miss is that somebody has to set stuff up and that somebody can be you.

It's really easy to be in the mindset that someone else should have already set up the rock climbing club and that if it doesn't exist it just can't.

Turns out that someone can be you! (and this is the thing people miss out on, you can actively make your world more like the way you want it to be by being that leader yourself and doing so is often way easier than you think)

[flagged]