it's fine I guess. but the thing really is that there are two different problem levels, and it seems almost always that any discussion of autism only focuses on one or the other problem level.

So if people discuss the getting run down by car problem level the people who have an "I'm different" problem level feel as if they are being insulted, and if people discuss the "I'm different" problem level the people who care for the people who have been run down by cars feel like... well, insulted would probably be the least of it.

For my part I'm obviously at the "I'm different" level and I don't feel insulted discussing the whole spectrum. Hopefully that's true for more people over time.

Edit: In retrospect I suppose the “developed wrong” language is insulting to me and the boundary is just beyond the idea of “different”

I suppose then the request is for those people caring for autistic people who are so different life is impossible to live without care to view the concept of “different” as a spectrum too. Not wrong.