So how many GB in total for a Tesla, or say a VW EV? Something like 16-32 GB? Is that not roughly like a $1k phone?

I cannot say, depends on the vehicle. But easily 50-64GB range.

If there’s three main ECUs at 16GB each, you’re already hitting 50GB. Add 2-4GB for mid size ecus, and anything in between KBs and some MB for small ECUs.

For reference, the iPhone 17 Pro (which starts at $1100) has 12GB of RAM.