And if my cat was an eldritch god in disguise life as we know it is in danger because I forgot to feed him this morning and surely he'll take revenge by destroying the universe.

That's what y'all sound like.

"creative regulatory evasion".

Credit where credit due: "creative regulatory evasion" was first attributed to Professor Michael P. Fleming of the University of Cincinnati College of Law to describe the tactics employed by the small loan industry to circumvent early 20th-century usury law.

Seems this would likely be one of the most salient terms the DOJ would use at trial.