I'm trying to avoid community unfortunately. I was never really accepted anywhere, whether is be online spaces or irl and I am not the person to socialize and do stuff with people. Also don't want to rely on people or having people rely on me.

> I was never really accepted anywhere

I felt the same way before I got my diagnosis for my neurodivergency. I mean I still do but it got better because I know now why I get rejected and are better at finding people I can fit in with.