all the big charities are scams, my partner works for an adjacent industry

I've worked with an organisation that was on the receiving end of a popular charity, and they definitely got something (new playground equipment for disabled children). Can't say how efficient the charity was, but there are definitely charities that don't keep all the money for themselves.

Maybe not scams, but I agree they are bad.

I always tell people to donate as local as possible. Ideally local Shelters, Churches (that take in everyone) etc...