This is really inspiring. Doing whatever you gotta do to be a better support for your loved ones is commendable.

Can you give an example of what you record in your SR system? Is it the anecdote itself? Do you generalize the pattern? Is there a "front" and "back?" A cloze?

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btilly 2 days ago | parent | next [-]

My prompt for that is, When did I last dramatically fail Kate at decision support?

Recalling the scene and the details is part of the exercise.

I do the visualization while journaling about it. Here is an example of what that written record looks like.

Aug 19, 2025. She was stressed because she thought that Phoenix’ dentist was ripping her off. A couple of quick suggestions later, and her meltdown was not about how bad I am at decision support!

Kate is able to come to the right decision. She wants someone to listen to her, be there emotionally, and not offer suggestions unless they have a lot of context. But first, second, and third, make her feel listened to.

Note. This is tied to a visualization that causes me to connect to the right emotion at the right time. So I not only won't do the wrong thing, but I'll also be doing the right thing.

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EE84M3i a day ago | parent [-]

How do you grade a card like this?

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btilly a day ago | parent | next [-]

The entire idea behind "grading" doesn't work.

I simply space on a Fibonacci sequence, and the fact that it is overkill for being able to answer is a feature. Because my goal is to react the right way in similar situations, not to get an answer right on the written test.

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spankibalt a day ago | parent | prev [-]

One could grade how close or accurate one's reaction was to "reacting the right way in similar situations", which was the stated goal:

> "Because my goal is to react the right way in similar situations, [...]."

	▲	btilly a day ago \| parent [-]
		I seek that kind of grade in separate prompts telling me to review for that issue. Those reviews are generally conversations with my wife. I'm happy to say that I've been passing with flying colors. (Mixed with some regrets that I didn't start this many years ago...)

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vannucci 2 days ago | parent | prev [-]

Definitely want to talk about this too. I've been thinking of my own daily learning through tools like Anki and trying to devise a sort of "life stack" where I'm adding stuff and refreshing myself on it and this top comment from OP just sort of crystalizes that.