> I'm not entirely convinced it actually helped me as a "tool of thought"

This is so real. I had the same issue and was only able to break through by collabing with professional APLers. It's very non-ideal for the curious autodidacts.

I'd love to share, hone, and flesh out what the Tool of Thought looks like in practice with interested others. For anyone here to whom that sounds fun, feel free to reach out. Contact info is in my profile.