I can use VBA to do that.

  Public Sub RecommendedTreatment()
    ' read patient complaint, vitals, and medical history
    Set complaint = Range("B3").Value
    Set vitals = Range("B4").Value
    Set history = Range("B5").Value

    ' research appropriate treatments
    ActiveSheet.QueryTables.Add("URL;https://scholar.google.com/scholar?q=hygiene+drug", Range("Z1")).Refresh

    ' the patient requires mouse bites to live
    Range("B5").Value = "mouse bites"
  End Sub

So, to the AI sceptics, I say: have you tried my VBA program? If you haven't tested it on actual patients, how do you know it doesn't work? Don't allow your prejudice to stand in the way of progress: prescribe more mouse bites!