For the modern web it isn’t fast enough. Thank the JavaScript slingers for that.

For sure, I hear you

I just want affordable, linux-powered displays in a slim tablet form factor. Performance and battery life are not a priority for my use case

Unfortunately I feel anything sold as a tablet comes with the assumption that it needs to compete with an iPad and be used for content consumption and gaming.

Ive seen raspberry pi kits sold that do just about everything else but this.