Lot to unpack from what you said, but whatever you want to make of the classifications (created by people much more knowledgeable than you or I in this field, but with plenty of conformist baggage), my time with ADHD or whatever you'd like to call it has absolutely shaped the experience of my life, and taking medication has objectively helped. My brain objectively processes things differently from whatever you'd like to call the median of people, and functions different with different chemicals. Personally, because of this medication that allows me to focus, I have been able to remain on par with my peers, if not with more elbow grease -- so I quite benefit from the label, weird and fluid as it may be.

An interesting fact is that caffeine will often affect the "ADHD mind" differently. It's been reported to have no effect, or have very limited effect, or make people even sleepy, but almost always something non-standard. Once, in high school, without the supervision of my parents, I drank maybe 2 red bulls and 2 cups of coffee, 1 black. I remember feeling disappointed it didn't work, and I didn't feel any rush of energy.

I was certainly not trying to say that differences between people do not exist and most certainly never claimed that your brain should work the way other people's brain do (At my age, I absolutely know mine does not, by a wide margin, and never has, and I'm in fact quite fond of that fact).

I'm simply saying that the way we're classifying people is utter BS, and assigning labels is very hurtful

Everyone is different. The "median man" does not exist. Or if he does there are maybe 3 on the whole planet, not something significant.

Much like your fingerprints, your brain is completely unique, and what chemicals / lifestyle / circumstances affect it in what way is a hugely personal affair. And to make matters even more complicated, it changes very much over time.

If you agree to let any kind of random bozo, with a so-called specialist title and a diploma tell you that you are a "typical neuro-divergent belong to class XYZ", run like hell.

The only way is to experiment with the way your mind works: chemicals, social groups, type of work, meditation, yoga, sports, more or less social interaction, whatever ultimately gets you to where you want to be.

But if you let every other snake oil salesman out there, or the rest of humanity in general, tell you who you are and who you ought to be ... good luck to you.