This is the wrong framing: We all have degrees of “diagnosable” traits, it’s only when those traits become problematic do we need to seek help. For example, obsessive tendencies can help you stick with a tough problem or they can become an unhealthy fixation.

Also, if someone is mean they are mean: Diagnosis is not a “get out of jail free” card for bad behavior.

I'm autistic and the difficulty was high for me to learn, "being autistic is no excuse for also being an asshole". I had to work a little harder, sure, but it's doable for many of us.