I already missed a funeral on account of all this bs. But it just doesn't seem worth the hassle any more to go there. It is frustrating because I have more friends on that side of the Atlantic than I do in the EU. But the last interaction with US border patrol was enough to sour me for the rest of my life.

I've been to the US multiple times this year and it's really not much different from how its been for the last decades. If you are choosing to to not go to events that you would want to attend over this you only have yourself to blame.