I can accept that the brain changes after becoming a parent.

I'm not convinced it's automatically, or even usually, for the better. Many of the parents I know are deeply and profoundly unhappy.

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jewayne 9 hours ago | parent | next [-]

> Many of the parents I know are deeply and profoundly unhappy.

As a childless person, I believe this is a societal problem, not a biological one. We've broken apart the tribe and made just two people (at most) responsible for most of child rearing. And worse, we pretend the parents are directly responsible for a child's safety and development at all times, even though we all know some kids are just way easier or harder to raise, right out of the box.

	▲	grvdrm 9 hours ago \| parent [-]
		Smart take. Parenting used to be more communal in some ways. Now it's up to two (maybe) working parents to deal with kids. 43-yr-old parent of 2. I love them. They're amazing. But there are so many challenging moments. So many. In those deep/profound moments of stress, I try to remind myself that the only thing I really need to do is stay calm. Allowed to have emotions, course. But to execute some level of calm really helps resolve so much of what you experience.

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erfgh 9 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-]

Maybe they are unhappy but on the flip side, most people with children will tell you that if you haven't been a parent you don't know what happiness is. The happiness of being a parent is just unimaginable, cannot compare with anything else.

	▲	jewayne 8 hours ago \| parent [-]
		Strangely enough, I think I do understand. As near as I can tell, life's two greatest pleasures are 1. Love (both loving and being loved) 2. Voluntary hardship I mean, what is parenthood if not love and voluntary hardship? On the other hand, I think you are describing your subjective experience. I've talked with some "one-and-done" parents who deeply love their child, but wouldn't want another one if you paid them.

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saalweachter 8 hours ago | parent | prev [-]

With the amount of sleep new parents aren't getting, I'd be shocked if there weren't changes to the brain.