I'd hit up a solo therapist. I went through a hard time with my wife and turns out she just sucks. Be warned that she sucked a lot worse in the divorce and states differ wildly in how biased they are against fathers if you have kids.

It was helpful to figure out some of my stuff and deal with a bunch of trauma.

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butlike 5 hours ago | parent | next [-]

Glad you got through it. Or, if you're going through it, glad the worst of the days are behind you.

Congratulations.

	▲	treis 4 hours ago \| parent [-]
		Thanks unfortunately neither of those are the case. Things are quite bad (haven't spoken with the kid since Christmas) and probably have not yet hit the nadir.

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dr-detroit 9 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-]

[dead]

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Cthulhu_ 9 hours ago | parent | prev [-]

Or else books / online communities. I can't recommend using ChatGPT for this kind of help but it can be used to validate your experiences, provide a different experience, and if you ask it, point you in the right direction.

For example, if you explain it (or Reddit) an interpersonal situation it can break it down and e.g. point out certain behaviours or boundary crossings.

But I would be careful, as these chatbots will by default put you in the right, even when you aren't.

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lazide 9 hours ago | parent [-]

Even therapists are a mixed bag - and some are legitimately dangerous - but in my experience at least 100x safer than a chatbot or just books.

If for no other reason than a chatbot can’t call you out on your bullshit, because it has no hope of telling what is or is not bullshit. And that is key. And has no actual feelings, remorse, license to lose, etc. etc.

	▲	mattbettinson 4 hours ago \| parent \| next [-]
		Yeah I like LLMs to dump feelings/stuff and explore different angles of viewing it. It’s like CBT by tons of angles of attack
	▲	ToucanLoucan 7 hours ago \| parent \| prev \| next [-]
		I found a chatbot helpful when I explicitly requested it, in detail, to argue the other person's side with me. I basically approached it as "I want advice on this particular conflict," I explained who the other party was, I explained my best summary of the situation as a whole, and I went back and forth. I found it cathartic because I could basically argue with that person about it, without asking that person to do emotional labor or be subjected to my criticisms of where I felt they were wrong. Ultimately I landed on several points I did eventually go to that person with, I dropped several others that the chatbot pointed out weren't really something it was fair to criticize them for, and I think our friendship is overall better for it. I don't think there was anything revolutionary there, it's basically journaling with an LLM, but it was more efficient if nothing else. Edit: I would also caveat that I've attended a lot of therapy, individual and couples, so numerous concepts that some people may not know, things like emotional labor, boundaries, healthy communication, etc. are already very familiar concepts to me. So, I wouldn't recommend a chatbot as a FIRST stop? But if you've attended a lot of therapy and already know a fair bit about how your own feelings work, I think it can help, as long as you explicitly request that it doesn't just glaze you continuously.
	▲	cies 9 hours ago \| parent \| prev [-]
		etc. etc. responsibility. may also be lacking in therapist. is certainly lacking in LLM