If your wife wanted to stay home with the kids and not work, you would have forced her into the rat race or given her what she wants? It is not a foolish plan to confidently honor your vows and act accordingly. Condemning a wife who wants to raise her children as best as possible and to enjoy herself, to working for the man in some corporate gig and then blaming it on her need for work experience once you guys get divorced is dystopian nonsense. Just be a good husband and father, ya know? You do not have to saddle yourself with the problems of others which you yourself don't have out of some statistical optimality calculation. Just take control of your life. I say this as a father and husband.

"I know you wanted to stay home honey, and yes we have enough money and yes it would be good for the kids... but you have to think of your resume and work experience, we might get divorced someday. This very achievable situation is simply a fantasy" lol. My wife would be horrified and incredibly sad if I treated her this way.

If you approach it like that then sure LOL. Hilarious honestly. We also haven’t even discussed being eligible for social security and how that would play into finances post divorce.

Anyway the conversation would be more like this:

“hey, you know you can do whatever you want and i’ll 100% support your decision. We’re a team. And your contributions as a stay at home mom would be very much valued. But I also don’t want to take away your independence, and I want to make sure you’re not screwed if (god forbid) our marriage ever ends up in divorce. Have you considered working part time? If that’s still too much then OK - i’ll support your decision. Think about it.”

Basically:

- i support you 100% because we’re a team.

- don’t ever feel like i’m “asking” you to stay home with the kids.

- god forbid we end up divorced, don’t “complain” afterward that i wasn’t looking out for your best interest or i didn’t warn you of the worst case outcome.

but all of this is kind of moot anyway. If someone dreamed of being a stay at home mom since like 10, then that’s different. That’s supporting a dream. But it’s unethical for me to not inform someone of the possible downsides and have a conversation about it.