The one time a non Mercator map would have significantly helped them tell this story.. and what do they pick?

A 3D globe view "from above" was probably simplest.

it looks like equirectangular (shine horizontal lasers from a rod through the poles through the Earth's surface onto a cylinder of the same height, record its surface image, then unfurl it), which is still about as bad as Mercator (shine omnidirectional light from a point source in the centre through the surface onto an infinitely tall cylinder) since the means by which it conserves area (exaggerating horizontal distance as much as it understates vertical) make distance:area only correct for diagonal Rhumb lines.

Yeah lol this way it really looks like a boneheaded idea

haha I came here to post exactly this. “I bet the route doesn’t look so roundabout if it were put on an actual 3d globe”