My guess would be the anger comes from implication that is a possible solution at all. This type of “hop on a call” request is not usually actually designed to “truly understand what you're struggling with.” (words from the post)

Instead it is usually a PR tactic. The goal of the call requester is to get your acquiescence. Most people are less likely to be confrontational and stand up for themselves when presented with a human - voice, video, or in person. So, the context of a call makes it much more likely for marsf to backpedal from their strongly presented opinion without gaining anything.

This is a common sleazy sales tactic. The stereotypical overly aggressive car salesman would much rather speak to you in person than via email even though the same information can be conveyed. It is also used in PR and HR situations to grind out dissenters, so it comes off in this context as corporate and impersonal.

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Groxx 4 hours ago | parent | next [-]

It's also often a way to avoid saying things in public, in writing, that normal people would be upset about.

If they truly think they're in the right, they can discuss it in public, like the poster already did.

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thaumasiotes 3 hours ago | parent | prev | next [-]

> The stereotypical overly aggressive car salesman would much rather speak to you in person than via email even though the same information can be conveyed.

There might be an element of personality there. I was texting with a real estate agent (for apartment rental, not purchase) in China once, when he decided that as long as we were talking he might as well call me. He didn't bother mentioning this to me beforehand.

Of course, all I could do was hang up on him. It's not like I could understand what he said. And I don't think that was especially difficult to foresee.

So he wasted some time and seriously annoyed me in the most predictable way possible. Why? Not for any reason specific to the situation. Maybe there's emphatic training somewhere that says "always call". Or maybe the type of people who become salesmen have a deep, deep instinct to call.

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mkagenius 4 hours ago | parent | prev [-]

Are we reading too much into one sentence? HN comments dese days

	▲	ricudis 3 hours ago \| parent \| next [-]
		No, we aren't. It was this exact part of the conversation that touched me negatively too. marsf expresses some very valid criticism that, instead of being publicly addressed, is being handled by "let's discuss it privately". This always means that they don't want to discuss, they just want to shut you down.
	▲	tyre 3 hours ago \| parent \| prev \| next [-]
		I don’t think so. Working in tech with many busy people, I say “hop on a call”, but only in “let’s sync live, it’ll be faster” situations. This stuck out to me as rude. I would never say that to someone on my team who expressed serious concerns, far less than this person quitting after years of dedication. I would offer an apology, explanation, and follow up questions to understand more in public, then say I’m happy to set up time to talk privately if they would like to or feel more comfortable.
	▲	aydyn 4 hours ago \| parent \| prev [-]
		I mean, its right and also not the only sentence too.