> As the business running the servers of smart vacuums, if I saw an atypical device reporting in, without context, I too would kill that device.

If you want to block a device from accessing your servers because it's behaving in an odd way, such as this one that was contacting the update server but not the telemetry server, that's not entirely unreasonable. Sending it a command to modify its software to stop it from operating entirely is outrageous.