I'm not saying you should forget it, but every second you waste thinking about revenge is a second the bully won another time. It's also another second you are not dedicating for the people you love and care.

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pohl 2 days ago | parent | next [-]

Trying now to analyze the limit of this principle as the bully approaches POTUS.

	▲	gchamonlive 2 days ago \| parent \| next [-]
		I don't think this principle holds to this extreme.
	▲	01HNNWZ0MV43FF 2 days ago \| parent \| prev [-]
		In the case where you are still actively being bullied, you gotta do something to stop it first

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Tyrannosaur 2 days ago | parent | prev | next [-]

On the other hand, every effort each of us makes to eliminate bullying from this world is another effort toward making this world a better place.

The trick is to have those thoughts, plans, and actions actually lead to results rather than just anxieties about the past.

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gchamonlive 2 days ago | parent [-]

How do you think that would work? People will just accuse you of interfering with their raising their children and that you shouldn't raise yours to be a snowflake -- not saying this is true but I can already hear their reasoning.

Maybe we should build laws to make parents more accountable, but then it's the other discussion where we are make the state police us even more and putting more power to the state.

I really don't see a way out other than to focus on other things and take care of ourselves.

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Tyrannosaur 2 days ago | parent [-]

Start with the simple. Don't be a bystander. "Next time I see somebody berating a retail worker, I will defend them"

Although it usually needs to start more introspectively: "Next time I am about to lose my temper, I will take a deep breath and consider if yelling is the best course of action or rather something less aggressive."

With children, there's something to be said about them learning to stand up for themselves; tattletales aren't something to admire. But at some point it is actually the correct course of action to interfere with children-raising, especially when it affects my children.

	▲	gchamonlive 2 days ago \| parent [-]
		Dude, where I live a garbage truck worker got shot in the back the other say by a rich dude just because they got into an argument. You can't interfere and expect first that people will owe you a good response just because you intervened, and second that you will go through this unscathed. We need to protect each other, but we need to know how to care. Sometimes what you see unraveling in front of you is the culmination of deep factors that you can't fight with enough attitude or willpower. I know where you are coming from and I hope if I see something happen like this in front of me I'll have the courage and peace of mind to rightfully intervene, but that's not always the case and we can't hold bystanders in contempt because they chose to stay away. People are just nuts.

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amy_petrik 2 days ago | parent | prev [-]

> but every second you waste thinking about revenge is a second the bully won another time. It's also another second you are not dedicating for the people you love and care.

I agree with this and this is why I'm an advocate of fighting back on the spot, yelling, etc, if it's someone crossing a boundary such that it'll bother you forever. Because if you hold you ground, it's over and you held your ground, nothing to be upset about again.

	▲	kayodelycaon 2 days ago \| parent \| next [-]
		Unfortunately, life isn’t that simple. I tried that and gotten beaten up and punished by the school for starting a fight. Multiple times. The bullies never got punished. This happened at two different schools. I had difficulty explaining what happened due to being neurodivergent, so I was always punished. And my parents weren’t able to help me.
	▲	2 days ago \| parent \| prev [-]
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