During the pandemic, I experimented with vaping marijuana to see if I could improve my sleep quality. It worked to a degree, but after a few weeks of nightly use, I began to experience what I think is depersonalization.

I would be walking with friends and talking about our day, while simultaneously thinking, "this isn't actually me doing this, this is just a surface-level interaction being carried out almost by automation." Between that and the realization that I "hallucinate", i.e. misremember things, overestimate my understanding of things, and ruminate on past interactions or hypothetical ones, my feelings have changed regarding what intelligence and consciousness really mean.

I don't think people acknowledge how much of a "shell" we build up around ourselves, and how much time we spend in sort of a conditioned, low-consciousness state.

Humans don't have this understanding, it seems. That their own "intelligence" isn't magic, isn't infallible, and is flawed in many of the same ways LLMs are.

I wish more people could feel this. Having used psychedelics a few times it’s illuminating to finally see the inside of your brain from a different perspective. I often wonder what would happen to the world if everyone had this experience. How many modern humans live their entire lives in the shallow mental states of survival, acceptance, or consumption? How would humanity’s course change if every adult got the gut punch of humility from seeing a slightly more objective reality?