Dave Barry is a humor writer. I've followed him for 20 years and this is absolutely his style of writing, perhaps even paraphrased from one of his pieces.

Hats off to OP if this is their original writing, it nails his style.

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the_af 4 days ago | parent | next [-]

My introduction to Dave Barry was Slackware Linux and the fortune cookie program, which greeted me with random quotes, often some humorous remark by Dave Barry.

Because of this, I both like him and associate him with my early nerdiness.

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chris_wot 3 days ago | parent | prev [-]

Dave Barry caused me to write the original Exploding Whale article on Wikipedia. I got the first oddball barnstar, which was made just for me.

I’m now banned.

	▲	B-Con a day ago \| parent \| next [-]
		This is the kind of minor celebrity Internet encounter that delights my day but is impossible to explain to anyone else. :-D
	▲	failingforward 3 days ago \| parent \| prev [-]
		This is, if not the best, likely the most concise history of Wikipedia I have ever read.