"If the tool is used wrong most of the time, it's at least partially to blame."

Only if there were other tools that didn't fall victim to the same business incentives, but they all do.

I've had PMs that find a balance with the business incentives and make it work. If you’re human and make the wrong choices, then most people, including me, will likely call you bad in that context. If they can't stand up to find balance with the business incentives, then they're a bad PM. That doesn't make them a bad person.