Honestly, you come across as quite negative yourself.

There's a saying, "If everywhere you go smells like shit, maybe it’s time to check your shoes"

I try as much as possible to stay out of politics and believe in merit. If someone advances their career through merit, I will be the first to celebrate with them.

But at the same time, I do not believe in the power of "let's have a coffee" in a situation like this. There are core beliefs that a cup of coffee will not change.

If someone believes in playing dirty, believes in that basic respect is earned not given, and other rotten beliefs... that person was a bad hire, and needs to have an expedited firing.

▲

theultdev 9 days ago | parent [-]

Lots of assumptions you're making there.

Better to just have the cup of coffee and see.

You'd be surprised how easy it is to disarm people with kindness, you should try it.

▲

29athrowaway 9 days ago | parent | next [-]

It's not your responsibility to fix it.

Just like if someone showed up drunk at work, showing up with an unacceptable behavior should be seen in a similar lens.

▲

theultdev 9 days ago | parent [-]

Not about responsibility. Just makes your life easier.

Noone is saying it's acceptable, just offering advice on how to mitigate the situation.

Should is the keyword of your last sentence. In a perfect world sure, but the world is not that.

You never know, you may even become friends. Doesn't hurt to attempt once at least.

	▲	29athrowaway 9 days ago \| parent [-]
		Seeking everyone's approval is not a good mindset. You are not there to win a popularity contest but to articulate what is needed clearly, keep people focused, unblocked and to get things done. If you worry too much about being liked by everyone your mental health will suffer. You just have to accept some people won't like you. Also comes across as insecure and less fit for leadership roles.

▲

9 days ago | parent | prev [-]

[deleted]