I first learned that it was possible to intentionally act "normal" when I was 12 (I'm now 47). So I spent a lot of years studying people to figure out how to do those things they did automatically but I had to do manually.

Later I learned it's called masking and a lot of people like yourself think of it as bad.

But it made my life immeasurably better.

I hated how I acted and how people reacted to me when I was young.

I wouldn't even know how to turn off the "masking behavior" now and I never would have become who I am without it.

Maybe it's because I was young and didn't know any other people like me but I don't think labelling this survival technique as hell is right for everybody.

This isn’t just an autistic thing. Everyone has to learn to temper themselves to fit into society and get along with others.