Since you asked for honest feedback here are my thougths:

Given your propensity for programming you are probably a high functioning individual, able to apply logical reasoning and systems thinking to a wide range of problems.

I have no idea of your living conditions so honest feedback beyond that is quite hard. Different places are different man.

I know talented programmers coming from around the world - so your career choice was not wrong. The career has been an opportunity for talent across the globe. It's possible that your life situation, however, is what stops you to actually follow the career path of your choosing now.

I know people who've struggled to find direction after their initial education did not pan out. They eventually pull through - sometimes they find a job that is aligned with their education, and sometimes they need to pivot and find something new. I have no idea what action you should take in your local economy.

I'm super impressed you take care of you elderly mother. I don't know what relationship you have, but being a caretaker is a dignified position what ever the circumstances. But it can also be a sacrifice towards personal freedoms, goals, and life outcomes.

Now, what I'm going to say may sound like BS but it really is the only solid actionable support I can give: take care of yourself. Try to exercise. Try to sleep. Try to eat. Try to find things in life you enjoy, and notice and pay attention to them. Life can be lived - and sometimes needs to be lived - one breath and one heartbeat at a time.