Many of the things you mention seem like they're symptoms of one specific problem with online dating: it's more like a sales numbers game than an intentional focus on one individual. This dynamic is present for both genders.

Due to the "sales numbers game" of online dating, there's an incentive to keep your pipeline full, lest one of your deals falls through and you have to start all over. This seems to create many of the negative phenomena that people complain about.

* Overwhelmed by too many matches or not enough matches? It's due to the numbers game

* Shallowness and hyper pickiness? Numbers game

* Getting ghosted? Numbers game

* That "stranger" dynamic- i.e. not enough time to really get to know someone beforehand? Numbers game

* Burn out? Numbers game

* Situationships? Numbers game

* Dopamine "likes" rollercoaster? Numbers game

Before online dating, everything was slower. You were introduced through a friend or family member. You met someone at work, third place, community, or at a bar. It was one person at a time. Not a pipeline of matches.