> Most tellingly, a suspicious emdash after Chipotle is a definite flag.

Good writers have been using em dashes for years -- that's why AIs keep using them. :)

Also, MS Word auto-corrects <space>-<space> into an em-dash just like it fixes quotes. Depending on which software was used to write it, it's very likely that's what happened.

I'm never suspicious of only one em-dash, as they are a perfectly valid, if infrequent punctuation. Three or more in an article this length would make start looking at the rest of it more closely, though.