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gampleman 5 hours ago

I suspect that a lot of this form of cultural subtlety is designed to be hard on purpose. This allows individuals to show off and spar on a fairly harmless linguistic level - "he is so suave, she conveys her meaning just so" etc. Effectively it is a way to show off verbal + emotional intelligence in a way that doesn't look like showing off, since it's all about politeness.

The fact that it makes it hard for foreigners to productively engage is just a side benefit of the arrangement.

jrvarela56 5 hours ago | parent | next [-]

My take on “Hard on purpose” is that it’s plausible deniability. It’s not for showing off, it’s to make the situation polite in a way that you can’t rationally attribute malice.

vidarh 2 hours ago | parent [-]

More generally, perhaps, leaving an out for either party to avoid losing face in the case one side wants to contest a statement or pull back from a stance.

Norwegian culture is big on compromise - we see that even in politics, where it's not uncommon for a party that often has 12-15 parties represented to negotiate settelements that gets the support of 10+ parties even if only half of them are needed for a majority, for example, because it's often seen as preferable to pushing through a bigger change with narrower support.

And compromises feel like they are easier to reach when positions are couched in "maybe"'s that leaves plenty of rooms to adjust or pull back without losing face.

In a sense that of course is plausible deniability for the harder position, but not because they necessarily object to people thinking that is what you want, but ensure not to give the impression you're unconditionally committed to it.

I don't know if this is always good - sometimes it is, but it also does mean that it's easy for things to end up being endlessly debated in cases where people latch on to language that leaves the door open for "polite disagreement" more than it perhaps ought to.

vintermann an hour ago | parent | prev | next [-]

There are definitively social games which are about showing that you have been initiated into the social codes of your class, but I don't know that this is one of them.

Der_Einzige 24 minutes ago | parent | prev [-]

If that's true, than the theories that "Autism is the next form of human evolution" seem far more true.

Shit tests are demonic and should be rooted out from the human psyche.