Maybe I'm just insane, but if I'm on a machine with ample memory, and a process for some reason can't allocate resources, I want that process to fail ASAP. Same thing with high memory pressure situations, just kill greedy/hungry processes, please.

Like something is going very wrong if the system is in that state, so I want everything to die immediately.

sysctl vm.overcommit_memory=2. However, programs for *nix-based systems usually expect overcommit to be on, for example, to support fork(). This is a stark contrast with Windows NT model, where an allocation will fail if it doesn't fit in the remaining memory+swap.

systems-oomd does this.

The kernel oom killer is concerned with kernel survival, not user space performance.