> if this version of the knife doesn't connect to the cloud, the next one will.

That's just ugly cynicism. And I'm willing to bet a good amount of money the "next one" from this company won't. But it doesn't matter because this one doesn't and we're talking about this one, not some hypothetical that may never arrive.

If the rechargeable vibrator-knife becomes a fixture of kitchens around the world, it will prove the accusation of 'cynicism'. Until then, whether it's cynicism or sobriety is a matter of opinion.