I would very much like for the author to be able to memorialize her partner in a way that she feels offers a testimonial to someone who was such a big part of her life. If she's able to do that right now, that's fantastic (and this post is certainly a well-rendered testimonial). The point of getting additional help (and, again, as stated above, I mean therapy, not necessarily drugs) is to ensure she can do that - to provide the support, structures, framework, and understanding that she can make those choices consciously and in a way that allows her to feel as though she's honoring his memory in the best way she can.