These are very typical and normal thoughts when dealing with grief. The thing is, it's a misconception that it "goes away" or becomes lessened. It doesn't, and that's the honest truth, it will always be there. Over time though it becomes less unbearable, and for me anyway, 10+ years removed from it, has become such a core part of my personality I'm unsure of how or who I'd be without it. Not that I prefer it, it's just become ingrained.

"Time heals all wounds" is the biggest trap I think these thoughts are driven from. The simple and difficult truth at this stage of grief is accepting that yes, things are probably always going to feel like this. Yes, when other people have moved on you won't have. Yes, it makes people uncomfortable and you're going to have to learn to navigate those situations gracefully. The hopeful message though is that you adapt to it and it becomes less distressful over time. If it doesn't, and significantly impacts your life years later, is where I think diagnoses come into play.