I think everyone is wired a little differently. I agree that sadness isn’t the right word for it either, apathy and empathy and hopelessness are bang on. But for me, I guess I take refuge in learning. I find it hard to go and do anything physical or social, and the only outlet left is to learn obsessively cause otherwise I’ll lose my mind. Maybe trying to stockpile knowledge for the day when the hopelessness goes away and it’ll end up being useful?

> I find it hard to go and do anything physical or social, and the only outlet left is to learn obsessively cause otherwise I’ll lose my mind.

That's depression's "twin" sister (with a different personality) anxiety taking command of your behaviour. It's well-established now that obsessive-compulsive and avoidance behaviours are linked to anxiety. Both depression and anxiety feed each other.