> nothing they could possibly announce would be interesting to you.

Apple is a hardware company that makes lifestyle products. Why isn't their hardware appealing to me? Why can't it be?

In a competitive economy, phrases like this should a last resort, used to describe only the most decrepit and unjustifiable businesses. If nothing they can announce will interest me, then what are they even selling? A religion? A service? Certainly not a commodity, apparently nothing I need.

Yes. They are selling a religion. "Lifestyle product" is another word for "consumerist religion". Otherwise it would just be "product".