You are making it waaay harder than it is :)

I got this in 10 minutes and have 0 maintenance, and you want me to have account at bank A and B which can take days, if not weeks, along with the constant management. I have a life, you know.

Nah, I am gonna keep using a crypto card while my neighbor still waits for a card of the local bank 3 months later, after a tone of back&forth.

None of what you said is true in the US.