A key part of breaking cycles for me has been noticing when my default mode network (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Default_mode_network) or DMN is being activated, being able to stop, do a series of 4-2-6 breaths to activate the parasympathetic nervous system and focus on what I'm doing in the present. The DMN is the little chatterbox "daemon" always talking in the background. Learning to consistently notice it and handle it is liberating.

This is not easy, but I've found working on this every day is better than any form of traditional meditation or "mindfulness" work. It truly is work, like exercise, and the point is not how long you do it, but noticing more and more when my DMN engages and I can return to breathing and reactivating my parasympathetic nervous system.

I can't stress enough what a change occurs after two months of focusing on this.

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softwaredoug 2 days ago | parent | next [-]

Anyone who has a restless dog in the evenings can see DMN create anxiety.

Like many dogs, my dog gets bored and looks for something to bark at. He scans out the window like I scan social media. He’s got extra energy that seems to need to go somewhere, and that somewhere seems to be looking out the window scanning for threats, barking, sounding meaner than he actually is.

It’s like he manufactures anxiety out of nothing else to do.

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brazukadev 2 days ago | parent | next [-]

> Like many dogs, my dog gets bored and looks for something to bark at.

This is the best analogy I've heard about social media, hope to remember it to use when needed.

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uncircle 2 days ago | parent | prev | next [-]

Great analogy with your dog. I noticed that when I’m doing the washing up, my DMN, for some reason, takes me to ruminate negatively about my relationships, and I constantly have to return my attention to something else. No wonder I’ve come to loathe it and let my dishes pile up.

I find it can be a great tool for creativity, but needs to be directed or at least given some task to chew on; then I can close my eyes in a half nap and all kinds of interesting associations and ideas bubble up.

EDIT: that said, the default mode network should not be unjustly demonized. Its purpose is crucial for reprioritising our goals based on what is important to us at any given time, and the problem with modern living is that we never have enough idle time to ourselves, always distracted by our smartphones, and in the long run it is easy to lose sight over what drives us forward. A simple exercise, harder than it should be for most, is to be idle yet undistracted for 30 minutes. You’ll soon get into a “big picture” view of your life, what is missing, what you wish for yourself; into a kind of goal-oriented view that only kicks in in this mode.

	▲	krzat 2 days ago \| parent [-]
		> that said, the default mode network should not be unjustly demonized. Yeah, scrolling tiktok is pretty good at silencing the DMN. This practice does not seem to be particularly beneficial.

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Sammi a day ago | parent | prev | next [-]

This comment actually made me read it slower as it progressed, because I felt a feeling of awe welling up of how insightful it is.

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_fw 2 days ago | parent | prev [-]

Holy shit.

You’ve just changed my perspective on my life (and my spaniel’s).

Thank you Doug.

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adiabatichottub 2 days ago | parent | prev | next [-]

To add to OP: It helps to pay attention to physical symptoms of stress as well. If you find yourself constantly tensing your jaw or your shoulders, take a moment to focus on relaxing your muscles and breathing. Overcoming negative automatic responses just takes consistent practice.

To further add: being able to acknowledge an emotional response to a situation and then divert to objective thinking is a superpower. Sustained anger, sadness, or fear will quickly drain your energy and leave you unable to act with intent.

	▲	oriel 2 days ago \| parent [-]
		To add to this further, I've had great success following The Body Keeps Score; seeing it as a repository of past stress and trauma. As part of this, I've been able to locate and work through stress and trauma activations in my body, where normally they'd cluster around my head and never actually get resolved. Every time I go to work out, I pay attention to what areas of my body arent responding, are activating oddly; and I'll work to strengthen the foot-to-neck paths. It started with a back injury and has resulted in me finding I needed wide foot shoes and changing my entire stance, posture, complex movements, etc. Some times I find it odd that I don't have that daemon running around yelling, because hes now activated in my body, and all I have to do is stretch.

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galleywest200 2 days ago | parent | prev | next [-]

> but I've found working on this every day is better than any form of traditional meditation or "mindfulness" work

This is mindfulness work, what you just described.

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truelson 2 days ago | parent | prev | next [-]

In addition, being able to see when dopamine is rising, feel it, label it, engage your parasympathetic nervous system and know that a dopamine spike is temporary, the craving for TV, news, sweets, social media, or other will pass... that is liberation.

We live in a culture where everything is gunning for our attention, trying to engage a dopamine loop and "relieve" us from dealing with often important but difficult emotions just below the surface. We have to train ourselves to deal with this environment.

It's not mindfulness training, it's how to operate our brains in the modern world.

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ursula_gren 2 days ago | parent | prev | next [-]

Do you have any resources that helped you come to that realization or helped make habitual the process of noticing your DMN is being activated?

I've had varying success with other "mindfulness" work and meditation like you have mentioned that I employ to help with spinning/stewing/looping thought cycles. The process you are describing seems like it may be more helpful so I'm curious to learn more and try something new.

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neuronic a day ago | parent | prev [-]

For anyone wondering like me:

> What is the 4-2-6 breathing technique?

> The 4-2-6 breathing technique is a calming exercise. First, inhale slowly for four seconds. Then, hold your breath for two seconds. Finally, exhale slowly and steadily for six seconds. This technique helps by making your exhale longer than your inhale, which is a signal to your body to relax. It's particularly useful when you need to settle your mind before sleep or if you're feeling anxious and need to steady your nerves.

Source: https://www.calm.com/blog/breathing-exercises-for-anxiety

	▲	IAmBroom a day ago \| parent [-]
		And there's nothing magical about that set of numbers. I learned it as 5-5-5-2, but in the end it's about using a pattern to regulate your breathing, and - I believe - to force your attention to counting breaths, an anxiety-free exercise, allowing it to lower its hyper-vigilant awake state.