Yeah, but we’re doing great at avoiding mad cow disease recalls.

Every time a sample comes up positive, we cut the sample percentage by an order of magnitude.

Problem solved.

See also: Tainted meat from Boar’s Head.

We also have the “nitrate free” and “uncured” labels, which means the nitrate (pink curing salt) is called “celery salt” in the ingredient list, and the manufacturer is exempt from federal caps on the amount they added. (Celery salt is the same exact chemical, but with a different production process.)